You Chose Her
by PhantomofDeath99
Summary: Christmas has been and gone, but the heartache hasn't. Wave after endless wave of pain consumes her as his words replay. The boyish grin she loved gone, although it was never really there. The grin that lured her in, mistaken as cute and warm was always cold, cruel, always on the edge of a smirk. Because he was always on the edge of hurting her. Then he did, when he chose her. Kick


She frowned, keeping herself small as she sat on the bench, arms wrapped around her knees. Her head hurt, her eyes stung with bitter tears and her chest ached from all the hits it had taken. Snow gently fluttered from the sky, white drops of frozen water tickling her eyelashes and covering her hair, making her seem like she sparkled; like she shone. She looked like an angel, bright and glowing, like she'd always wanted to seem. People might mistake her for happy if not for her red rimmed eyes and trembling lips.

It had been three weeks almost, since the day he turned away from her. It was so sudden, so quick and so, _so_ painful. It was like he was a child in a candy store. He'd seen something he wanted, Kim, and then found something else he wanted more, another girl, and decided that because he wanted _both_ he could have them. But Kim was not a toy, or a sweet, and she was not going to be used. She was not going to be cheated and tricked into thinking that he loved her when he didn't. Or so that's what she told herself. But Kim had been tricked. She'd thought Jack loved her, that he'd wanted her and _only_ her. She thought she was important to him, special, and that he loved her enough not to hurt her like she'd been hurt so many times before. But he didn't, he'd only fooled her into believing.

The words he'd told her, the harsh, heart-breaking, dream-crushing words he'd muttered lowly in her ear, tauntingly, still echoed in her head, repeating themself twice for every minute, every _second_ that she'd kept believing. Believing in what? Believing in him. Believing that it was some cruel joke that he'd apologize for when he came back to her. She shouldn't have believed in him, she shouldn't have trusted him, but she did, even when he did neither. He never apologized. He never came back. Not to their friends, not to the dojo. Not to her. But that's not what hurt.

What hurt her, were the actual words, words he'd promised he wouldn't use against her, knowing that underneath all of her opinions, and walls was a fragile girl so easily injured. He'd promised, after _that night_, the night he found her hurting, that he wouldn't hurt her with words, because Kim had asked him. Kim had asked him so many things, she'd asked him if he'd loved her, if they were forever, if he wouldn't hurt her, and he'd lied to her about all of them, so it shouldn't have shocked her that he'd lied to her about this but still...it had. It had stunned her into silence, shocked her state of being into nothing, until she was a shell of who she used to be, a bare canvas, colourless; without any emotion, not even the passion to hate him, because she _should _ hate him. But he's Jack, and she's Kim, and she was always his even if he wasn't _hers_. And she could never hate him. She could only become hollow. Empty. Still surviving. Still remembering. Still numb and aching in cool January.

Christmas Eve in the town hall, under shimmering fairy lights and big loops of tinsel and paper snowflakes, dancing with the other couples, he'd leaned into her, pulling her closer to him, all smiles and soft adoring looks. And he'd told her.

_"I don't want you."_

She thought he was joking, thought she'd misheard him until she felt him dig his fingers into her waist. It stung, tears barely there behind disbelieving eyes.

_"Jack?"_

_"I don't want you, Kim. I could have __**anyone**__ but I chose you...but I don't want you Kim. I want anyone else, anyone that's not you." _

She didn't understand. She still doesn't understand how someone's eyes could change so quickly, go from soft and loving; _adoring_, to cold and hating; _loathing_. He _loathed_ her. He didn't want her but he _loathed _her. The tears didn't even have time to build before they escaped, watching as he stalked away from her, grin in place. It was the same grin that lured her in, the same grin that she'd fallen in love with, the same grin that he'd pressed against her mouth as he kissed her. But now it was different, now she could see it. It wasn't warm and boyish, it was dark, cold; a near smirk but not quite the same. Now it was the grin pressed against _her_ mouth as he kissed _her,_ as his arms wrapped around _her _hips, as his eyes adored _her_. _Loved _**her**.

Her thoughts stirred around her as she looked up, her eyes skipping over his face as he sat down on the bench beside her, instead caught on that cool, dark grin. The snow clung to his hair lightly, making him seem as angelic as Kim herself appeared. _A fiend hidden by an angelic face_. A dark angel. A _fallen _angel, still bringing the glow of his latest kill. Her voice cracked, addressing the boy she loved-the boy she still did _love_.

"How many heartbreaks should I have to face before I get what I want?"

"As many heartbreaks as there are, one for every moment you're left unloved and unwanted."

"You don't love me...you never will again, will you?"

Her voice cracked, revealing the piercing ache of her whole heart, the tension in her chest unbearable as his head turned, that cold grin turning into a cruel smile, his lips curling over his sharp canines. He leaned forward, lips a hair's breadth away as he nipped at her ear playfully, noting the way her body shuddered in response to the cold air he exhaled onto her.

"I never will. And I never have."

* * *

**There ya go, a little one shot to make up for my absence. I haven't been writing on FF as much, cuz I got into some other stuff. Anyway, I'll be doing a few more Christmas themed One-shots and Two-shots in honour of my best friend over at DamonsImpala. Girl's got a gift for writing, if you're into Supernatural, Sherlock and Doctor Who go check her out. So, for you bestie, enjoy, love you lots!**

**Peace and Christmas crack,**

**~The Phantom**


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